You might be surprised!
Have you ever run into someone you haven’t seen in a while and thought “They look amazing!” but what comes out of your mouth is something that sounds more like this? “WOW! You’ve lost a TON of weight!” or “Holy Cow . . . how much weight have you lost?!” but my all time favorite is “You’ve lost a LOT of weight . . . are you sick?”
Please hear me, I KNOW you mean well, but please also hear that the receiver of your “compliment” might feel less than complimented and the GOAL of a compliment is to leave the receiver feeling good!
Let me explain. When someone has recently lost weight they are THRILLED. They love that people are noticing and they are excited to have had some success. However, they can quickly be left feeling terrible and reminded of what they have (tried) to leave behind!
See, when you bring “weight” into the conversation, it’s generally an honest curiosity but the person often hears “Man, you were so F A T before!” and the rest of the compliment is lost. So, if you are wanting to make someone feel good, don’t focus on their weight. (I know it’s hard in such a weight focused society but just remember that it’s not received as a compliment and often is actually insulting!)
The best compliments will be the ones that are along the lines of “WOW! You look fabulous!” or “I don’t know what you’re doing but you look phenomenal!” A compliment should leave the person feeling excited and happy about their success and not remind them of what they hope to never see again!
Since it’s been a few months since the NEW YEAR (and lots of health resolutions were made) many will be seeing the results of their efforts. Support your friends and help them feel good by NOTICING that they are making changes and giving compliments that will be well received! “YOU LOOK AMAZING” is the perfect way to greet a friend who’s made some life changing improvements!
I hope all of your dreams come true this year. Oh, and by the way, YOU LOOK FABULOUS!